Laurs Theory of Overrated Forgiveness. What is forgiveness, REALLY?

Forgiveness (four-give-ness)

First and foremost, forgiveness is a term too many of us use too often.

The most common way of asking for forgiveness is first apologizing..which NONE of us fall for because its only a way to fool people into think you are truly worthy of their so called "forgiveness"or in other words, fooling people into thinking you really are remorseful. Which in most cases, the person(s) who are/is asking for forgiveness is not.

Another way some people think they will win their plea for forgiveness is to be very blunt or subtle about it. This may result in a slap in the face, or forgiveness of the foolish. Theyre not really sorry, weve just been tricked into thinking they are.

These are the 2 most common ways you will be asked for forgiveness in your lifetime, so be prepared. It WILL happen.

The second thing Id like to discuss is what exactly, in most cases, people ask forgiveness for. Number one, being a fight. Lets take example 1.

Susie and Peter get in a fight. Peter says some really mean things to Susie out of anger and when he reflects on himself afterwards (which not all people do, see Peter is a good man) he realizes that what he said to Susie was untrue and he really did not feel that way. In this case, Peter would be worthy for Susies forgiveness if the situation was explained thoroughly and his plea was a decent one.

Now, lets replay that and see how, in the same situation, Peter would not be worthy of forgiveness.

Susie and Peter get in a fight. Peter says some really mean things to Susie and after cooling down that night, Peter does not apologize. He thinks Susie should for causing the fight, although Susie is truthfully sorry, because he does not believe he is wrong. Peter did a bad, bad thing. There will be no forgiveness issued and they will stay in a fight forever. The end.

Do you want this to happen to you and your Susie? I didnt think so.

Another situation someone might ask for forgiveness in would be in a simple situation of having to leave or be excused from something important unexpectedley. Lets look at another example.

Susie has invited Peter over to a very important family dinner. All of a sudden, Peters mother has called and says Peter is needed home due to an emergency. This is excuseable, and therefore forgiveable. Peter could not help what had just happened there.

Now, lets look at that again and see how Peters behavior could have been rude and not worthy of Susies or her familys forgiveness. Ever.

Susie has invited Peter over to a very important family dinner. Halfway through, Peter lets out a loud belch and leaves the premises. Only to go where? On a bender with a few of his buddies. This is a big no no. Peter did not exercise manners, nor did he have a sufficient excuse (or any excuse at all for that manner) to leave Susies residence. Peter will not be forgiven for that one. Nope.

Another important role in forgiveness is the forgiver. To be a good forgiver and not letting anything slide under your nose, you must consider these steps.

The Steps to Being a Justified Forgiver.

- Reasoning. Always ask yourself, "Was there a favorable excuse for the actions expressed by this person?"

- Research. Is this person really telling the truth? Always be sure to have a second party verify that the persons "excuse" is in fact, true.

- Looking at the past. Has this person ever lied to receive forgiveness from you before? If so, be sure to go over steps one and two more thoroughly.

By following these steps, forgiveness should be fair, as well as an easy task when took at hand. The last thing to remember is that people may seem sincere in their pleas but are in fact not. This is why the phrase "I forgive you" is over used and overrated. Lets try to put an end to foolish forgiveness and tighten the rope on those who really are not sorry. Lets follow the 3 steps to becoming a justified forgiver. 

Laurs 2^nd Theory - Lying.. Its what gets us in AND out of shit

Lie (Lye) - A gross distortion of the truth

Lies Lies and more Lies, its how we start our day and end it even though its rotten. Lets look at the different forms of lying shall we?

Lying to make yourself feel better about something

We all participate in this ritual probably more than we even realize. It may start out as small as you waking up in the morning and telling yourself it will be a simply marvelous day when you know it will be totally CRAP and its not even worth waking up for. See? Sometimes you dont even notice..

Lying to get yourself out of trouble

This is probably the only USEFUL way, shape or form of lying. You know you threw that rock into the windshield of that damn car.. But something tells you to say your friend did it. Hey, it was wrong still.. Buy your not the one playing cards with senior citizens for community service now are you? :)

Weve jumped from useful ways of lying to just plain senseless. Who would do something like lie to make someone feel better about something mean they did to you? Like your mother always said "dont let them know it got to you" ... pfft.. I myself participated in this Ill admit but dammit I regret it, and so should everyone else who has! If someone totally shoots you down and apologizes.. Dont say its ok if its not, youll just turn into this big ball of hate and want to kill the person whenever they turn their back.. Ive been there.

If someone demands you tell them something that you DO know.. But yet you say you know nothing about.. Youve done it. If someone asks you how their green polka dot pants look and you reply "fine" youve done it again you moron. Who cares how mad theyll get.. Tell them the truth and run like hell.

Above weve examined the 4 basic types of lying, although there are many more smaller areas here NOT covered..I dont have the rest of my life to write a theory about lying. Now, weve all been the Lie- er and the Lie - ee, so we know what it feels like to be lied to, am I correct in saying that? I knew I was. Its a pointless practice, but we have YET to find away around it so far. I lie, you lie.. We ALLLL lie and as long as were not dead, its a-ok with me.